


Family Hurts

by Mochas N Mayhem (KoohiiCafe)



Series: Of Love and Demons Loved [2]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lesson 16 (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) Spoilers, Multi, Nightmares, Polyamory, Retelling, Rewrite, gratuitous cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:34:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26223445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoohiiCafe/pseuds/Mochas%20N%20Mayhem
Summary: Barbatos' warnings were quite clear on what she should and shouldn't do; stay hidden, talk to no one, and reveal nothing. When she sees the ones she care about, the demons she considerfamily, in pain, however, warnings or no, Devi can't stand idly by and justwatch. When secrets come out as a result, well. Nothing quite hurts like family, does it?
Relationships: Asmodeus/Main Character/Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Beelzebub/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Everyone, Mammon/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Series: Of Love and Demons Loved [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1760449
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to apologize in advance for two things.  
> 1\. I did not set out to write _pain_ , but here we are.  
> 2\. I did not set out to rewrite chapters 16-10 through 16-19, but. Devi decided Mammon deserved far better than he got in game, so. Again, here we are. 
> 
> That said, it goes without saying that there are _major spoilers_ for lesson 16 in this story. Some lines are taken from chapters 16-10 through 16-19. Things deviate a bit from canon for character choices and character depth reasons, however.

It was an odd thing, seeing one’s own dying body, and yet here she was. She was standing at the top of the steps in the grand foyer, watching as one of the men she loved clung to her limp body, desperation in his eyes as tears slid down his cheek. She could see the way the body he held had been beaten, her throat almost collapsed from the force with which Belphie had crushed it in his hand, slashes across her chest from his claws that bled freely, staining the tattered remnants of her white top a bright crimson. Her hand rose to her own throat, undamaged and free of the bruises that were already decorating her- her?- other self; she _remembered_ the way she’d gasped and struggled for breath as Belphie’s fingers tightened around her neck, remembered the sharp, biting pain of his claws tearing into her flesh. She _didn’t_ remember coming down from the attic before now; she didn’t remember the way the demons she loved were arguing, shouting, _screaming_ at the youngest of their brothers, or the way some of the others were _barely_ holding back the shine of tears in their eyes.

She remembered… She remembered Lilith. A sweet voice she’d never before heard, yet one that she somehow _knew_ intimately. Whispered, fractured words; an offering of power, to heal the hearts of the ones they both loved so dearly.

“ _Devi!_ ” Her name on Mammon’s lips was anguished; the vicelike way the grief in his voice crushed her heart was far more painful than any damage Belphie had done. Physical pain… physical pain she knew well, even if never to such an extent as this. The emotional torment her demon was suffering…

She didn’t stop to think twice, ignoring the echoing memory of Barbatos’ warning; history be damned, clearly something had _already_ gone wrong, and she _refused_ to leave Mammon to such despair. She stepped fully into the foyer, the clack of her heeled boots echoing loudly as she descended the marble steps to where the demons were scattered around her dying form. It was loud enough to draw their attention, six pairs of eyes going wide as they turned to see her; the seventh, the golden tinged blue of her first demon, never broke from the woman he held.

Devi ignored the others for the moment. She stalked right past Belphegor as he stared at her in unmoving shock; she heard movement behind her once she’d passed, and the hiss of Lucifer’s deep, enraged voice as, she thought, he likely stepped between her and his brother. She ignored that too. She ignored the confused, wondering, unsure voices of the third through sixth-born; she would attend to them in a moment. For now, there was _one_ demon who needed her more than any other.

“ _Mammon_.” She went to her knees at his side, gaze searching his features. His eyes squeezed closed tightly at the sound of her voice, more tears slipping down from them as he did so, and he shook his head.

“Don’t-” he whispered, his voice strangled, “I can’t- you- save your breath, _fuck_ , don’t-”

“Mammon,” she said again, her voice softer this time. Her breathing was even, a stark contrast to both Mammon’s, and to the ragged way the Devi in his arms was barely drawing breath. She didn’t look down at herself, only reached out to her demon, gently cupping her cheek in his hand. Mammon _flinched_ , gasped raggedly himself; another hand, as dark as her own but streaked with blood, joined hers, cupping his other cheek.

“ _Ma- Mammon_ ,” her other whispered between pained gasps. “L- look at me. _Please_.”

Struggling to swallow down a sob, he slowly obeyed, his red blood-shot eyes still trained on the other Devi. Devi heard her injured self struggle to swallow as well, and then the bloodied hand on Mammon’s cheek slid beneath his chin, trying to nudge it up.

“ _Look_.”

Mammon’s chin raised, clearly reluctantly. His eyes went impossibly wide as he looked up to find Devi herself, whole and complete beside him. He jerked backwards, his gaze immediately jerking back down. The woman in his arms gave him the best smile she could. Her fingers stroked down his jawline, shaking. Her hand dropped slowly back down to her chest. Terrified, confused eyes shifted from the Devi in his arms to the Devi beside him.

“H- how?” The word was whispered, afraid, disbelieving. She gave him the most reassuring smile she could, stroking her thumb tenderly along his cheek.

“I’ll explain in a minute. The important thing is that I’m here, and I’m real. I promise.”

There was a gasp behind her- Levi, she thought- followed by another, and then another. Mammon’s gaze _ripped_ from her back down- and there was no one in his arms. The other Devi, the Devi who Belphegor had _killed_ , was gone.

Mammon’s eyes found hers once more, tears falling steadily, and he begged, “ _Please_.”

He didn’t have to voice the rest for her to know. Please be real. Please be here. Please be _alive_ ,

Devi pulled him into her arms, tucking his head beneath her chin as best she could. He was so much taller than her, but collapsed into her nonetheless, curling himself as small as he could, as tightly into her as he could. His arms wrapped around and clung to her, holding onto her with a strength that she knew would leave her bruised and hurting later, but she didn’t rebuke him, didn’t care. She laid a kiss into the shock of his white hair, and ran her hands soothingly up and down his back.

She could hear the others’ voices, tones of anger, distress, confusion painting their words. Keeping a good portion of her attention on the demon in her arms, she let herself tune into their words as well. As much as she wanted to focus on Mammon until she knew he would be alright, the situation was…

“-what’s going on here.” Belphegor’s voice hit her first, growling, disbelieving and _angry_. “How could a human have the willpower to cling to life like that?”

She looked up, shifting how she knelt with Mammon in her arms so she could see the seventh-born. He opened his mouth, to say- say something. Devi didn’t care what he had to say. She spoke over him, her voice cold.

“You can thank _Lilith_ for that. It’s through her that I am still here and alive, despite you trying to kill me.”

The entire room froze. Belphegor _growled_ animalistically, the sound almost feral. He spat out,

“Don’t you _dare_ say Lilith’s name, hu-”

“Lilith _lived_.” She cut him off ruthlessly, her tone laced with the strongest of steel. “She was reborn as a human, and she lived out her life happily.”

There were sounds of shock from every brother. Even Mammon, holding to her as he was, pulled back just enough to look up at her with an expression she couldn’t quite parse. She bent her head to press another kiss to his hair, even as Lucifer turned his gaze to her, pinning her with narrowed, crimson eyes.

“How do you know that?” He asked, his eyes narrowing further.

“You told me,” she answered simply. He opened his mouth to reply, and she shook her head, forestalling his protest. She was already long past Barbatos’ warning, it was time to be straightforward. “Not the you standing in front of me, but the Lucifer who allowed Barbatos to send me back into the past.”

There was a long moment of silence. Not one of them moved. Then, exhaling slowly through his nose, Lucifer nodded, and said, “I see.”

“Lucifer?” It was Beel’s voice, his tone torn between caution, fear, and hope. She looked over at him, and the expression on his face made her heart ache. She’d already seen first hand how the situation with Belphie had hurt him, had torn his heart between the brother he had sworn loyalty to millennia ago, and the brother with whom he shared the closest of bonds. She’d seen, too, the way his guilt over Lilith’s death had tormented him since the day she’d fallen, how it continued to hurt him even still. And now, on top of all that, he’d been forced to watch his twin torture and destroy _her_ and then _revel_ in the pain it had caused their brothers…

Devi inhaled deeply, and returned her gaze to Lucifer. Her voice was soft as she told him,

“It might be better for _you_ to tell them what happened.” Better not just for his brothers, but for he himself as well. She’d seen the way some of the pain he’d been holding onto since the day Lilith ‘died’ had fallen away as he confessed the truth the first time; she didn’t want to deny him that same release now.

The first-born nodded once, and then began to speak. His words were slow and precise as he detailed what she’d not only heard once already, but had _seen for herself_ through Lilith’s eyes. She remained silent as he spoke, watching the way the looks on each brother’s face changed as they all listened. Mammon pulled away from her enough to sit straight and look at his older brother, although he pulled her closer when he did, this time holding _her_ rather than being held; she took his hands in hers once he’d settled, lacing their fingers together in reassurance that she was still there, and wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. Even Belphie was rapt in his attention, despite the way disbelief and anger continued to war across his face.

Watching the room as she was, Devi didn’t miss when the front door opened to admit Diavolo and Barbatos, even as silent as their entry was. Both demons met her gaze, their faces closed off and unreadable. Barbatos nodded once to her, something of an acknowledgement she thought, and she made a note to talk to him as soon as she got the chance; she wasn’t sure _what_ had gone wrong that there had been _two_ of herself at the same point in time, when- as far as she was aware- Lilith had only revived her, not shifted her in time, but perhaps he would know. For now, she turned her attention back to the brothers, realizing that Lucifer’s explanation had reached its finish.

There was a rapid fire of questions from each brother save Mammon and Belphie. The former was silent, allowing the others to speak, his grip on her tightening as he listened; she gave their entwined fingers a light squeeze, bringing one of his hands up so she could kiss the back of it lighty. Belphie, however….

Belphegor was _simmering_. She didn’t know the youngest of the brothers near as well as she knew the others, but his anger was an open display, even without words. His tail twitched behind him in clear agitation, thudding heavily down against the floor every so often; his claws dug into the palms of his own hands as he squeezed them into tight fists, a slow dripping of blood splashing to the marble tile; his eyes glared holes into his eldest brother’s head, narrowed with brows heavily furrowed. Then, as his brothers’ questions slowed, he finally spoke, his voice ice cold.

“ _Lies_.”

The entire room turned to look at him- although she was still the only one to have registered the prince and his steward’s presence, she thought- and stared. He growled, the sound low, and continued,

“ _I don’t believe you_.”

“Belphie…” Beel’s voice was pained, his gaze equally so. Devi wanted to go to him, wanted to hold him and soothe that hurt, but now wasn’t the time. Later, she resolved, after this was all over. For now…

“Why would Lucifer lie about this, Belphie?” she asked, and she squeezed Mammon’s hand, pulling lightly. Reluctantly, he released her enough to let her stand, coming to his own feet after her. As he reclaimed her hand, his thumb worrying over the back of it, she stared straight at his youngest brother. “What reason would he have to lie about something that means _so much_ to all of you?”

“What do _you_ care, _human_?” he spat out immediately, his face twisted into an ugly display of naked rage. “Trying to save your own skin, hoping that I’ll fall for- for _whatever_ trick it is that you’ve convinced Lucifer to go along with? This- Lilith has _nothing to do with you_ , you’re not worthy of even _hearing_ her name, much less telling such lies about her!”

“That is where you’re wrong.”

Seven pairs of eyes jerked around to stare as Diavolo finally made his presence known, stepping forward from where he’d stood against the wall. Golden eyes swept over the brothers all before settling on Belphegor. He continued without giving the avatar of sloth the chance to reply. “Devi has much more to do with this than you think.”

“What do you know?” It was Lucifer who spoke next, dark eyes wary as he looked to the demon prince he had sworn allegiance to all those millennia ago. Diavolo’s eyes crinkled ever so slightly at the corners, but it wasn’t to Lucifer that he answered. Instead, his eyes turned to _her_ , gold meeting gold.

“Devi is a direct descendant of the human Lilith.”

Lilith’s voice played through her mind again, that voice she had both known and not known. ‘ _Why you? Because you’re my… which is why…_ ’ Memories flashed through her thoughts; how familiar Lilith’s room had been when she’d gone in earlier to hide; Levi inexplicably following her in when he’d been nowhere near her, talking about playing hide and seek with Belphie; _Lucifer_ , standing above her, holding her in his arms as he begged Diavolo to save- not _her_ , to save _Lilith_ ,

It was Mammon who drew her back from her thoughts, pulling on her hand in his. She inhaled slowly, realizing that yet another volley of questions and surprised exclamations were being batted about around them. Mammon’s eyes were steady on _her_ though, and his voice was quiet as he breathed out her name.

“Devi?” The word was quiet, but tense. Tense with… excitement? Hope? Uncertainty? Concern? She licked her lips and let her breath out evenly, then squeezed his hand again. She nodded, offered him a small smile, and turned to his brothers.

To Lucifer, specifically. She caught his eye and, casting her thoughts back through that last memory, she quoted; “ _No matter how far apart we may be, no matter how much time passes, even if someday you’re no longer yourself… I’ll never forget you. And I’ll always pray that you find happiness… Always_.”

The first-born’s sharp gasp was enough to quiet the room. He breathed out again, a single word;

“ _How_?”

“Those were your last words to Lilith, were they not?” Barbatos’ solemn voice broke the silence that followed. A sharp nod was his answer, and Diavolo spoke once more.

“Being a former angel, Lilith may have retained some of her celestial powers deep inside, even after being reborn as a human. Those powers, as well as her memories, must have passed down to her descendants, from generation to generation.”

“She did retain something of who she’d been,” Devi said, and all eyes turned to her. “She spoke to me, after Belphegor killed me.” Belphegor flinched, his claws digging even deeper into his hands. Beel did as well, his eyes darting back and forth between her and his twin. _God_ , she wished she could spare him this pain. Steeling herself, she continued. “After her human death, she remembered who she was. She’s been watching over all of you since then, forsaking the Celestial Realm. She’s worried about all of you.” She allowed her voice to soften as she looked to the youngest brother again. She didn’t know him as she knew his brothers, but she remembered the warmth in Lilith’s voice when she’d said his name. She knew how much he meant to _Beel_. All else aside, that was enough for her in this moment. “She’s especially worried about _you_ , Belphie.”

“ _No_ ,” he said, but the anger in his eyes was changing, something like fear beginning to seep in. He shook his head, and his voice trembled when he continued on, “This can’t be true, it- it has to be a trick.”

“Do you have another explanation?” She pinned him with her eyes, keeping her gaze on him and him alone. “We both know what you did to me. I remember what it felt like to die as much as you remember what it felt like to kill me, yet I’m still here. I’m here, alive and whole, because Lilith lent her powers to me. She wanted me to _help_ you.”

“Spiritual intervention or not,” Barbatos said, his tone even, “it’s true that she is descended from Lilith. Lord Diavolo ordered me to look into Devi’s lineage once the selection paperwork for the exchange program came in. Tracing her ancestry so far back, all the way to Lilith herself, was difficult, but there can be no doubt that it’s true.”

There was a rush of exclamations around the room, both soft and excited, overlapping each other and making it hard to pick out any single one. Mammon’s grip of her hand tightened, and then she was in his arms again, her back to his chest. He held her just as tightly as he had after her other self had disappeared, his face burying into her curls; she could hear his telltale sniffling, and she laid her free hand on his arm, gently squeezing it. There were a few footsteps, but Barbatos’ voice halted them.

“Don’t rush her all at once; imagine how it would feel to be mobbed by all seven of you at once.”

“Six,” Diavolo corrected, and when she looked up, his eyes were on Belphie, the seventh-born frozen in place. “Belphegor? You don’t want to hug Devi as well?”

“It’s- it’s too much of a coincidence... The idea that Devi is Lilith’s descendant, and she just _happened_ to be chosen for the program is- there’s no way.” His voice was trembling even more now, full of fear rather than vehemence. He didn’t _want_ to believe it. At least, part of him didn’t. A greater part of him, it was easy to see, _wanted_ to.

“Are you really going to keep denying it, Belphie. Is that what you want? To keep denying _her_.” Her soft words might as well have been taking a hammer to glass; you could _see_ as the cracks in his angry facade finally shattered apart, crumbling around him and leaving only naked fear. Fear and _guilt_.

“Belphie,” Beel said, his voice despairing, pleading. “ _Please_.”

Belphie crumpled. Beel was at his side immediately, wrapping him up in a crushing hug. His other brothers, save Mammon, followed, even Lucifer taking a knee before the youngest of them. As they spoke softly around him, Devi turned her attention back to the demon who held her, turning in his arms so she could look up at him.

“Are you alright?” she asked gently, one hand reaching up to cup his cheek. It was the same one her other had held, and there was still a streak of blood remaining from her touch; Devi ran her thumb over it, but it had already dried as they’d talked.

“You’re really here? I ain’t- gonna wake up and you’re gone?” His voice was jagged at the edges, his words as frightened as they were hopeful. She shook her head and, with the hand on his cheek, drew him down for a slow, chaste kiss.

“I’m _really_ here,” she said once he’d pulled back again. “I’m not going anywhere.” She paused, giving him a small smile, and tried for humor. “I can’t very well leave you alone, can I? _Someone_ has to go along with all your crazy plans.”

“They ain’t crazy,” he told her, his tone wobbling and the protest accompanied with a hiccuping laugh. “The Great Mammon’s plans are only the best of the best.”

“If you say so,” she teased, and his laugh was a little more real this time. Then, his arms tightening around her once more, he pulled her in close and buried his face into her neck. She could barely make out the words he whispered against her skin.

“I thought- I thought I’d-”

“I’m alive, Mammon, and I’m here.” She reached up, running her fingers through his hair, gently scratching her nails along his scalp. “I’m not hurt, I’m just fine.”

There was a broken sob. His tears began to flow again, wetting her skin. Closing her own eyes tightly, she pulled him carefully down to sit on the floor again, holding him as he cried.

* * *

Everything passed in something of a blur after that. Mammon had stayed steadfastly at her side the entire time, even as his brothers came to her one by one. None of the others cried openly, but she could see it in their eyes, in the way each of them took every chance they could find to reach out to her, to feel for themselves that she was real. Lucifer’s hand caressing her hair as, for the first time, he hugged her of his own free will. Levi stuttering as he took her hand, his thumb running over the back of it over and over, refusing to meet her gaze as he instead stared at their joined hands. Satan pressing a light kiss atop her head, his hand trembling faintly as he squeezed her shoulder. Asmo holding her tighter than he ever had before, his lips finding hers in the slowest, most _tender_ kiss they had ever shared. Beel squeezing her so tight she knew she would hurt come morning, whispering " _thank you_ " in her ear.

Belphie didn’t come until later, after Diavolo and Barbatos had relocated them all to the castle, the latter serving food and tea. His brothers had been bickering back and forth over who got to sit beside her, who got to pour her tea, who got to serve her food, with only Lucifer abstaining and watching on with equal parts amusement and exasperation. He found her when she stepped away for a quiet moment to herself; she loved all her demons, but she was starting to feel the effects of the day, of the stress and multiple adrenaline rushes she had gone through. She’d claimed the need for a bathroom break, but once she was out of sight of the others, she stepped out onto an empty balcony, the cool night air of the Devildom washing over her.

“Devi.”

Her name, on his lips, was… different. She turned to watch as he stepped out onto the balcony after her. Instinctively, she felt herself tense, her muscles tighten as her body reacted to the man it _remembered_ hurting her. It was far from the first time someone had done so- it wasn’t even the first time someone she was _related_ to had done so- but it was the worst she’d ever felt.

She forced herself to relax anyway. If he still wanted to hurt her, despite the pain and guilt he’d shown earlier, despite what they’d all learned today… she would deal with it. He wasn’t going to catch her unawares again. But she’d give him a chance to talk first, if he wanted to.

“Belphegor,” she said, and he- not quite flinched, but grimaced at the usage of his full name.

“I deserve that,” he told her, and stopped a few feet away from her, out of either of their reach from each other.

“You do,” Devi agreed. She wasn’t going to mince words; he had _killed_ her, and if it hadn’t been for the spirit of his sister intervening… the spirit of her _ancestor_ intervening ( _and fuck was that an odd thought, one of her ancestors had been an **angel**_ ), she wouldn’t be here now.

He looked away from her. It was a moment before he spoke again. “I want to get to know you. _Actually_ get to know you this time.”

“Do you want to know _Devi_ ,” she asked, her tone even, “or do you want to know _Lilith_ again.”

“I-” he started, and then stopped, looking at his own hands. They were no longer clawed, no longer painted with her blood, but they were the same hands that _had_ been. When he spoke again, it wasn’t in answer. “Why are you talking to me? After what I did to you…”

Devi shrugged. She told him, “What you did to me is not the worst that’s ever been done to me.”

His gaze jerked up to meet her own, dark violet eyes wide. “What do you mean-”

“I mean that someone trying to kill me isn’t anything new. It’s happened more times than I care to think about. I’ll give credit where it’s due- no one’s ever actually _succeeded_ before, so kudos to you. But I’ve had much worse things done to me than attempted murder.” She laughed, and turned back to look out and over the view of the Devildom the balcony offered. “If it makes you feel any better, some of those attempts came from my own twin sister. So really, a demon trying to kill me, one who hates humanity and has _no idea_ that we’re distantly related?” She gave another shrug. “Par for the course of my life.”

Silence fell for a long moment. She let it be, let him think over her words. She heard footsteps, and when he spoke, his voice was closer than it had been.

“I want to know _Devi_.” She heard him step forward again, and then he was beside her at the balcony's edge. He was just within reach this time, although he set both hands on the balcony railing before him. “Even if you’re descended from her, you’re not Lilith, I know that. My brothers know that too, and they all adore you anyway; they adored you _before_ they knew you were her descendant. I want to know more about the person who managed to unite them all like that when we haven’t been that united since- since we lost her.”

“Then get to know me.” Her words were matter of fact, as if it was that easy. “I don’t hate you for what you did. I don’t exactly _like_ it, and I don’t exactly like that you’ve been planning on murdering me since before we even met. You’re important to the people I care about, though. You’re important to _Beel_ especially. So you get a chance- just the one, for now- to show me who you are when you’re _not_ planning my imminent demise.”

She glanced over, watching as he nodded slowly. He turned his head to look at her, meeting her gaze, and said solemnly, “I will.”

“Then let’s get back inside before your brothers realize how long I’ve been gone and flip out,” she laughed, and turned away from the railing. She offered her hand out to him as he turned as well.

“Yeah,” he said, and took her hand. She smiled and led the way back inside.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as I was concerned, this ficlette was done. However, the ficlette apparently decided it _wasn't_ , and that a second chapter was needed, so. I have bowed to the muses, and here we are. I apologize in advance for the _ow_. I hope you enjoy!

“Did you really think that you could steal from us and get away with it?” The voice that growled into her ear was painfully familiar, so very like her own yet darker, deeper, angrier. Devi laughed- perhaps not the best response, given the situation, but she’d never been one to bow under another’s threat, much less when the threat in question came from her _sister_. Instead of being cowed by the danger, by the blade at her throat that she was just _barely_ holding back, she smirked up at the woman above her, pale amber eyes meeting Khaterah’s darker golden brown gaze confidently.

“Oh I stole from _you_ , did I?” She laughed again, her shoulders shifting on the ground beneath her where her sister held her pinned, trying to find some leverage to push back. “As far as I’m aware, mother’s accounts are her own, _not_ yours.” She grinned, the expression all sharp angles and bared teeth, and taunted, “You’re not her heir _yet_ , little sister. Apparently, whether I want to be or not, I’m still in the running.”

“You will _never_ have what is meant to be _mine_!” Her sister’s voice was an angry roar, and Devi hissed as Khaterah pushed down on the blade in her hand even harder than before; a sharp pain tore through her as she managed to redirect the force, sending the knife crashing to one side and slicing along her shoulder rather than down and into her throat as had been the younger woman’s aim. The shift of weight, the freeing of the blade from her neck, though, was enough for her to push back again finally, and _push_ she did. As the knife skidded on the floor and away from them both, Devi gathered every single bit of strength she had, every bit of leverage afforded to her by Khaterah’s slip, and she _pushed_.

“ _I don’t want it_ ,” she growled, and then Khaterah was no longer above her, sent tumbling to one side, and Devi was up and after her instantly.

The time for words was gone, and there was only time for the fight that was as familiar to both of them as breathing. They’d been _raised_ with this struggle, pitted against each other their whole lives, used as measuring sticks for each other, as _threats_ against each other. Which of them was better, smarter, more cunning? Who was stronger, had the most willpower, had the most _drive_? Who was more ruthless, which of them could hope to live up to the legacy their mother would one day leave them? Who would take _over_ and reign in her stead when the time came? It _would_ be one of them… but _which one_? And what fate awaited the daughter who didn’t measure up? She who failed and fell short of her sister?

Devi had tired of it years ago, had decided she wanted nothing to do with it, decided to find her own way through the world that had nothing to do with either her mother _or_ her sister. But Khaterah?

“ _Lies!_ ” The hatred in her younger twin’s voice was thick and heated, and there was something… _wrong_. Khaterah’s voice was- _different_ \- as they grappled, as they tumbled and rolled and fought, each struggling desperately to pin the other, to come out on top. They knew each other’s moves intimately, had trained and learned together, had fought against each other more times than could possibly be counted. Taking advantage of each other's weaknesses was instinctual, they knew exactly what to watch for in each other’s movements and body language; both knew when the other would strike, knew how to counter-strike, knew how to dodge and how to counter their dodges. They had always, _always_ , been evenly matched, and tonight was no different.

“ _I don’t believe you_ ,” Khaterah hissed, and her voice was _deeper_. Strangely echoing, as if she spoke not alone, but along with another. A hand caught Devi by the throat as they fought, with a strength that was _not_ familiar, that exceeded Devi’s own in a way that her sister’s never had before. Her back hit the ground _hard_ as the other woman pinned her down with more force than should have been humanly possible, enough to knock the air from her lungs.

“Whether you believe me or not,” Devi gasped, her hands scrabbling at her sister’s hold, nails digging in as she tried to claw Khaterah’s fingers away from her throat. As she struggled to breathe past her hold. “It’s the _truth_. I don’t _want_ mother’s precious legacy!”

( _When had Khaterah become so strong? Why couldn’t she break her grip?_ )

Dark spots danced before her eyes. Khaterah laughed, and the sound was _wrong_. Her sister was ruthless, merciless, and psychotic, but also often _joyless_ in her devotion to her future, to following in their mother’s footsteps. She didn’t laugh like this- maniacally, loudly and tirelessly, almost a _cackle_ more than a laugh.

“Does it _hurt_ ,” Khaterah asked, and _that_ was more familiar, even if her voice still sounded strange; the taunt in the younger woman’s words was one Devi had heard countless times before, an inherent smugness laced through her tone. The claws ( _claws?_ ) around her throat tightened, sharp tips digging in and breaking skin in five distinct pinpricks of pain. Devi tore more desperately at her sister’s hand as the edges of her vision began to go soft and blurred.

( _This- this wasn’t **right**. This **wasn’t** how this had gone._)

“Finding it hard to breathe? I’m sure it must be _very_ unpleasant.” Her sister punctuated her words with another squeeze of her fingers at Devi’s throat. Her vision was fading in and out faster than before, and for a moment, the eyes boring into her own weren’t a dark, golden brown, but an inhuman _violet_ instead- and then she blinked and they were the same eyes she’d grown up trading glares with, that she knew almost as well as she knew her own.

“Not as unpleasant- as having- _you_ for a sister,” Devi managed to choke out. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that antagonizing her sister while Khaterah held her suspended in mid air by her throat was dangerous, that there were better uses for her oh so limited oxygen- but she refused to bow to the other woman, refused to let her have the last word.

( _She remembered this night, this fight- Khaterah had pinned her down to the ground, not held her up in the air. Why was this so **wrong**?_)

“I have to say,” the younger woman commented casually, as if Devi hadn’t even spoken. Devi’s vision flickered again, and the arm holding her up wasn’t the warm, rich brown of her sister’s skin, only a few shades darker than her own, but was pale instead, shockingly so. “Seeing your-”

( _‘a human’s’_ )

“-face twisted in pain like this? It’s so much fun that I can barely stand it!”

( _ **Fun**? Since when did Khaterah care about **fun**?_)

Khaterah laughed again, again that- strange, foreign, _alien_ cackle that was far too deep for her sister’s voice. It was followed by a loud _crack_ , and then a bone-deep, _sharp_ flash of pain, and then-

Air. There was no _air_. There was only pain, blinding, sharp, stabbing _pain_. Pain, and Khaterah’s laughter- no, not Khaterah’s, it was no longer her sister holding her, choking her, _killing_ her. Khaterah had tried- _fuck_ had Khaterah tried- to kill her, many times, but she’d never _succeeded_. No, _that_ honor went to _Belphegor_.

It was Belphie holding her, throttling her, choking her. Belphie’s claws digging into her throat, her blood slipping down his fingers to his wrist, down his arm. Belphie’s laughter echoing in her ears, his bright, maniacal grin burning itself into her vision. Belphie’s voice, cheerful and happy in her ear, as she _felt_ her life slip away.

* * *

Devi shot up, breaking through the heavy weights settled atop her to sit straight, one hand flying to her throat. Her breath came raggedly as she struggled with the memory- memor _ies_ \- of struggling for air, gasping and fighting to draw breath and _failing_. She didn’t quite register the voices around her as she squeezed her eyes closed tightly, seeing faces behind her eyelids; Khaterah’s and Belphie’s faces both, sneering, smug, pleased. Hands reached for her, familiar hands, hands she _knew_ intimately, and she jerked back, away from them and out of their reach. They were on her bed, more than just two hands, and as adrenaline and panic surged through her veins, she hit at them, shoving herself further away-

She tumbled off the edge of the bed, hitting the carpet below it with a _thud_. There were more voices- someone calling her name. She scrambled back, away from them, growling defensively. No one followed her to the floor. There was a moment of silence.

She didn’t hurt. No, that wasn’t right. There were minor pains here and there, but. Her _throat_ didn’t hurt. She could _breathe_ , unimpeded by anything other than her own panic. There was a low murmuring coming from her bed. She didn’t look up, instead tried to focus. She was in her bedroom, in the House of Lamentation. Her sister was an entire realm away. The attack she’d dreamed about- that had happened _years_ ago, and while their fight had been a close one, Devi had gotten away with only the slash wound on her shoulder. Khaterah had _not_ crushed her throat, had _not_ caused any kind of lasting damage.

No, that had been-

“Devi?”

 _Mammon_.

Her eyes snapped open, flying upwards and- there he was. Frozen at the edge of her bed, blue-gold eyes wide as he watched her, and it was clear that he was only _barely_ holding himself back from coming closer. His fingers held to the side of the bed with a deathgrip, knuckles almost white with how tightly he held. She could see, just behind him- Beel and Asmo, both of the younger demons watching her with eyes just as worried as her first demon’s. But _Mammon_ …

“It’s alright,” he told her, his voice hushed and careful, thick with an emotion she couldn’t quite name. “You’re safe. It’s just you ‘n us- me an’ Asmo an’ Beel. There’s no one else here. No one here ta hurt ya.”

She was in her bedroom in the Devildom. Khaterah was an entire realm away, completely unable to reach her. And Belphie was…

Belphie no longer wanted her dead. Or at least, so he’d said.

Devi closed her eyes again. Her hand left her throat and she inhaled slowly and deeply, scrubbing at her eyes. The mattress creaked, and when she opened her eyes to look again, Mammon held a single hand extended to her.

“C’mon,” he said gently, and she thought his voice _might_ have trembled. Releasing the air from her lungs just as slowly as she’d inhaled, she shifted so she could reach out and take his offered hand. A moment later, he was tugging her closer and then up onto the bed.

Maybe she still wasn’t properly awake. Or, more accurately, maybe she still wasn’t… properly _processing_ everything, mind still mired in the remnants of adrenaline and panic and fear from the nightmare. Either way, before she was fully aware of it, she was back on the bed with her demons. Mammon held her tightly in his arms, curled around her as if he were hoarding her to himself, reassuring them both that they were there, together, unhurt and alive. Someone was stroking her hair tenderly, being careful to keep from tangling the thick, wavy locks- Asmo, she realized as he paused to dig slim fingers in and scratch gently at her scalp. Which meant the large hand running up and down her back soothingly, carefully navigating around where Mammon’s arms encircled her, had to be Beel. She found herself shivering a little beneath their touches, felt some of the tension running rampant through her body releasing the slightest bit.

She allowed herself a few moments longer, her face buried into Mammon’s chest, to let their petting and presence soothe and calm her frayed nerves and senses. To let herself be vulnerable in a way that she _rarely_ was. In a way that she hadn’t been since before she’d found herself in RAD’s main assembly hall for the first time. _Fuck_ she hadn’t felt this vulnerable, this raw, this _breakable_ since… _ever_? Had even Khaterah ever managed to leave her feeling like this?

( _Maybe in the beginning, she thought. When they’d been young, before she’d understood exactly how determined her sister was to win their mother’s approval. Maybe after that first serious fight when she’d found out that the person who should have been her closest companion, with whom she had shared her entire life from the start, was not only willing to **hurt** her, but to outright **end** her for her own gain. **Fuck** , that had been a long time ago._)

“Darling?” It was Asmo’s voice that drew her back into the moment, his tone one of worry and concern. Hell. She needed- she needed to pull herself together. Showing weakness like this was only going to make them worry, and they’d had enough of that today. _Mammon_ especially had had enough of that.

Devi forced herself to relax. Forced her tightened muscles to release the tension holding them so taut, forced the grip she hadn’t even realized she had on Mammon’s nightshirt to loosen as well. She inhaled deeply as she let her shoulders drop back, straightening where she was held in his lap. She was careful to relax her expression as she lifted her head, to keep her voice calm, as she finally spoke.

“I’m alright.”

She wasn’t. But she _would_ be. She couldn’t afford not to be.

She felt more than heard them shift around her, knew they were probably exchanging looks over her head. She waited for the protest, for the refusal. Beel, if nothing else, always saw far more than he let on; if he let her get away without pushing, she would be surprised. But it wasn’t Beel who spoke, or even Asmo. Instead, it was-

“Like _hell_ you are!” It was Mammon’s voice, hot in her ear. Mammon’s hands, taking her by the arms as he drew back, pulling _her_ back far enough that he could glare down at her. His normally clear blue eyes were dark and stormy as he pinned her with them, his brows furrowed deeply. She wanted to look away, not completely trusting herself yet to hold her calm mask in place. Not with the memory of her sister’s- of _Belphie’s-_ hands around her neck still so fresh. He didn’t let her, though, she _couldn’t_ tear her gaze from his. “I’ve _never_ seen ya wake up like that before. I’ve never seen ya _panic_ like that. I am _not_ just gunna let you sweep that under the rug!”

“Mammon, maybe-” Asmo began, but the second-born cut him off sharply, never looking away from her.

“ _No_.” It was the firmest she’d ever heard him speak. His eyes on her were hard and unyielding, his grip on her arms just short of tight enough to hurt. His lips set in a thin line, and there was an entire ocean of emotion behind the look he gave her, one she couldn’t hope to be able to read. “If we give her half a chance, Devi’ll shrug this off, pretend like she’s fine, and then act like it never happened. I ain’t lettin’ her do that.”

Her heart caught in her throat. Fuck him for being right. For _knowing_ that he was right. She tensed again, barely resisting the urge to try and struggle free from his grip. Her demons were all so much stronger than she was; without the proper leverage, she didn’t have a hope of breaking his hold unless he either let her, or she _ordered_ him to, and. Fuck if it wasn’t _tempting_ , but-

“He’s right,” Beel said from behind her, and his words were soft, but just as sure as Mammon’s. His hand on her back shifted, moving to her far shoulder so that his arm rested across the breadth of her back. He wasn’t trapping her, wasn’t holding her like Mammon was, but she knew that even if she _did_ make use of her pact with the first of her demons, then she would have to do the same with Beel.

A soft sigh from just behind and to her right sealed her fate. _Fuck_. The hand that had been petting her hair shifted, taking up her still unoccupied shoulder, framing her inescapably between all three of her demons. Asmo’s voice was gentle, almost apologetic, as he told her,

“As loathe as I am to admit it- for once, he _is_ right.”

The fact that Mammon, for once, didn’t even object to the slight… the fact that Asmo was admitting that at _all_ … Devi closed her eyes against Mammon’s gaze, feeling any and all fight she might have had go out of her.

Dammit, just because she wanted to see his brothers support him more, rather than tear him down, didn’t mean that she wanted it to happen at _her_ expense.

“Hey,” her first demon said, and while his voice was still firm, it was also tender in a way that she rarely heard from him. He was always too busy being flustered, trying to deny everything between them, to actually give voice to his feelings for her. Except for now, of course, when she really wished he would just. Let it go. “Look at me.”

“I’m fine,” she said instead, fully aware that it was exactly what he was expecting from her. “It was just a nightmare, that’s all.”

“You ain’t,” he answered and, secure in his brothers’ hold of her shoulders, let her arms go. One hand caught her chin, tilting it upwards and then settling there. More than ready to keep her from looking away when she _did_ open her eyes. She heard him swallow thickly, and his voice was lower when he spoke again, his words slow and carefully chosen. “You- you died today. I held ya in my arms and I watched you _die_.”

It was her turn to swallow, her eyes squeezing even more tightly closed. She _knew_ that. Why was he-

“It was one of the worst things- _the_ worst thing- that I’ve seen in more years than you can even dream of. And I’ve seen a lotta bad shit, even before I Fell.” He paused, and all she could see now, behind her closed lids, was the heartbreak that had been on his face when she’d finally reached his side in the grand foyer. The sheer _pain_ in his eyes as he’d looked down at the broken, bleeding, _dying_ body of her…. of _her_. Not ‘her other,’ it had _been_ her in his arms. The dying woman he’d held was as much _Devi_ as she was. She heard him breathe deeply, before he continued. “I _never_ want to see that again. I never wanna go _through_ that again. If it was that bad for me, just holdin’ ya… How bad was it for _you_?”

She gathered up the only defense she could offer, steeling herself as she opened her eyes and gave him the calmest facade she could muster.

“I’m not the one who died,” Devi told him, and her voice was smooth and unbroken, without a hint of the turmoil she was already working hard at burying. Without a single trace of the panic or fear she’d woken up with and already banished as best she could. “It wasn’t the same for me. I didn’t- live through it the way that you did.”

Silence fell for a moment. Mammon’s gaze on hers was a raging storm of pain, distress, worry, fear, and other, more intense emotions than she could name. Asmo’s hand on her shoulder had tightened, whether at his brother’s words or her own, she wasn’t sure; his arm across her back was tense, as if he wanted to pull her into his arms and stop the entire conversation, but he remained still, holding her with Beel. And Beel…

“That’s not what you told Belphie.” The sixth-born’s words were sorrowful, as pained as Mammon’s had been, and _hell_. Why did he remember that? Why did he _have_ to remember that. Fuck, she wished she could just. Spare him the memory of the entire evening. Spare him the turmoil she’d seen in his eyes as he’d been torn between his eldest brother and his twin… torn between his twin and what Belphie had _done_.

He wasn’t like her. Devi had been at odds with her twin her entire life, and any love she _might_ have had for Khaterah had long been lost once she realized that the younger woman saw her as nothing more than competition. That her _twin sister_ wanted nothing more than to see her dead and gone and out of her way. Beel, though. He and Belphie loved each other in a way that was clear even without ever seeing them together. They loved each other the way siblings _should_ , especially those who had come into the world together.

“I lied,” she lied, the words blunt and ashen tasting on her tongue. “I knew what happened because Lilith told me, and I needed him to believe me.” She paused, licking her lips, and added, “ _He_ needed to believe, or otherwise he never would have been able to reconcile with all of _you_.”

That much, at least, was nothing but truth. From the moment she had realized how much Belphie meant to Beel, how much Beel was _hurting_ at not having his twin at his side, she’d decided that she would do whatever she could to fix it for him. That remained true even still, regardless of what Belphegor had done. Regardless of how what he had done affected _her_. She would be fine, she just needed… _time_.

“Whether you remember or not,” Asmo began, his soft voice pulling her from her thoughts, “you _were_ dreaming about it, weren’t you?” His hand squeezed her shoulder gently and he leaned in, tipping his head against the side of hers, pulling her into a half hug as best he could in their position. His words were gentle when he continued, and she half wondered if the way she felt at hearing them was how Belphie had felt when he’d finally accepted the truth. “You reached for your throat when you woke up. That’s not something you’ve ever had a problem with before.”

 _Of all the times_ for Asmo to remember _exactly_ what was and _wasn’t_ on her list of limits…

Something like a laugh escaped her, one that was sharper and more jagged than she liked. The hand on her chin shifted, stroking upwards along her jaw and moving to cup her cheek, turning her attention back to her first demon. Mammon spoke again, his voice almost pleading.

“Please Devi. Just. Let us take care of ya, alright?” His other hand came up to cup her other cheek, one thumb stroking tenderly over her skin. He pulled her down to press a soft kiss on her forehead. Heedless of Asmo’s head still tipped gently at her temple, he leaned forward next, pressing his forehead to hers, and asked again, “ _please_. You took care’a me before. You took care of _all_ of us. Now it’s our turn.”

“Please Devi,” Beel echoed, drawing as close to all three of them as he could, his chest pressing to her back as he kissed the top of her head. Despite her best efforts, and _because_ of theirs, she felt her breath hitch as she closed her eyes once more. Fuck.

“That’s not fair,” she finally managed, another jagged laugh escaping. She didn’t open her eyes, didn’t look at them again. She didn’t know that she could. She _did_ let herself slip though, so that she was more held in their arms and hands than she sat by her own efforts. If her voice wobbled a little when she spoke, she hoped they’d let it go. “You’re not supposed to gang up on me like that.”

“Yeah well,” Mammon grumbled, some of the tension _finally_ leaving his voice. “Ya shouldn’t make us hafta, should ya?”

She thought about retorting, but. She didn’t really think she had it left in her to, not with how carefully they’d worn her down. With how worn down she’d been already from the moment she awoke. Instead, she just asked quietly,

“Hold me?”

“Of course, darling,” Asmo answered, pressing a kiss to her temple, and then they moved.

It wasn’t the most familiar dance, the four of them; Mammon and Beel often shared her bed with her together, while Asmo more often took it all for just the two of them. They figured it out regardless, shifting together to lay until everyone was comfortable. She found herself curled between Mammon and Asmo, with Beel holding all of them. There, held by her demons, guarded, protected, _loved_ by her demons, whom she loved so dearly in return… Devi finally let herself truly be vulnerable for the first time in far too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to m'darlin' [PhantomFox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomFox/pseuds/PhantomFox) for helping beta this chapter for me!

**Author's Note:**

> As always, many thanks to my wife, [Gyhl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gyhl), who is my beta and who gets to put up with me shoving stuff at them and praying that it's okay. XD
> 
> If you're curious what Devi looks like, I have a [character visual reference post](https://panickedpansexualprincess.tumblr.com/post/615583468262457344/a-visualization-post-for-my-mc-devi-from-obey-me) over on tumblr!
> 
> If you're on tumblr, you can find me at [PanickedPansexualPrincess](http://PanickedPansexualPrincess.tumblr.com).


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